


Ninjas Became Our Words

by JohnEgbertPretendingToBeDaveStrider



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe, Impersonation, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 08:04:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,325
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11619399
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JohnEgbertPretendingToBeDaveStrider/pseuds/JohnEgbertPretendingToBeDaveStrider
Summary: I didn't expect him to find out like this, hell I never thought he'd find out at all. I especially didn't expect him to during a live stream. I'm frozen staring at him while he stares at me, finally he takes a step forward and says something.“Egbert what the fuck?”





	Ninjas Became Our Words

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this idea for a while, it actually inspired my name, and so I wrote, I didn't have a beta reader so this might be terrible, but ya know what, I worked on it all morning so who gives a fuck?

I didn't expect him to find out like this, hell I never thought he'd find out at all. I especially didn't expect him to during a live stream. I'm frozen staring at him while he stares at me, finally he takes a step forward and says something.  
“Egbert what the fuck?”

~~~[]~~~<>~~~{}~~~

It started out simple enough, we were joking around and exaggerating metaphors to the extreme. This is where I first got the idea.  
“Dude, if I had a Tumblr, the masses would flock to it. Even Misha would be amazed, so amazed in fact that we'd become buddies.” Dave said.  
“What would you even have on your Tumblr?” I asked.  
“Well obviously I'd have several links to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, maybe every once in awhile I'd put a link to meatspin just to fuck with people. Hell I'd post some photography and maybe answer some asks, only the good ones though.” Dave explained.  
“Oh of course,would you ever be courteous enough to bless your followers with a selfie?” I inquired Dave smirked when I said this.  
“My face is a blessing? I mean I don't blame you for thinking that John, the Strider charm is pretty tempting.” He rambled. I felt my face go red.  
“I-I'm just thinking of the fan girls Dave!” I stutter out.  
“Actually that's a good idea, Egbert we would at least be fake lovers on the blog. The shippers would fucking flock to that, a cool dude like me doing the yaois with a dork like you, it's every shippers dream.” Dave said. I threw a pillow at him, and he threw one back in retaliation. From there it turned out into a pillow war, of which we later concluded it to be a draw, but that's where the idea started. 

~~~[]~~~<>~~~{}~~~

A few weeks later, I actually made the blog, called it “ninjasbecameourwords” because ninjas are awesome and Dave loves to ramble. I made sure to open the ask box and set up an ‘ironic’ theme for the blog before I got to posting. Very first post I made had to be a link to Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff, from there on I posted the link every time Dave updated it. A few times a day I'd post a Dave rant/rap, fake ones and occasionally I'd copy a real one from pesterchum. I also chose to put a link to meatspin every month on a seeming random day, I had a number generator tell me what day to do it. Then I also started putting some amateur photos on the blog. Nothing special, might be what we're eating or just some scenery of the forest by our house. I didn't expect the blog to gain popularity so fast. I mean it wasn't anywhere near the big Tumblr blogs, but the blog gained 33,000 in just 5 months, and Dave doesn't even know about the blog. I thought it'd be fine if he didn't know, it's just me impersonating him online, that sounds bad in retrospect but I was promoting his comic so it couldn't be that horrible . That was until I started to answer more than just the ‘good’ asks. 

~~~[]~~~<>~~~{}~~~

When I started to actually answer the asks, it kind of took me a while to try and think of what Dave would say. After a few days though it got easy to just know how he'd respond, so I started to answer all the asks in the box rather than just the ‘good’ ones. It was weird, by day I was John Egbert, Dave Strider’s best friend, and also happened to work at a cafe with Dave to help pay rent. By night I pretend to be Dave online while he was actually at work, I had a day shift while he had a night shift, and he still didn't know anything about the blog. At this point though, I didn't want to tell him about the blog, it was an unhealthy obsession that I have with it, and I loved every moment of it. Though the real problem occurred when someone asked for a selfie. When the first ask for a selfie was sent, I simply ranted about how Dave’s, my?, the followers wouldn't be able to handle my, Dave’s charm. After that, there was a torrent of asks for a selfie, so I complied. I didn't want to post an old one, so I kind of took it to the extreme. I dressed up as Dave, borrowed his clothes, had a very convincing wig, even went out to buy another pair of aviators, just for this blog. The first time I put it all on, I convinced myself that this would be the only time, and then Tumblr updated.

~~~[]~~~<>~~~{}~~~

Live streaming was now a thing on Tumblr. Not to mention that the blog’s followers count has risen up several hundreds over the last few weeks. Dave has also been taking more shifts at the cafe than usual, I think he's saving up for something. All of my, Dave’s, followers wanted me to do a live stream. After several asks I finally cracked. I told the followers to send in many asks so that I could answer them during a live stream. It was supposed to be a one time thing, and yet just about every week I'd dress up like Dave and answer asks. It was at this point that I knew that Dave couldn't find out about this blog. Then there was the one faithful day, that Dave happened to walk in during a live stream, that's actually the present.

~~~[]~~~<>~~~{}~~~

I was sure that Dave had work today, and yet here he was, still staring at me dressed like him during the live stream. He stepped right into the camera view just before saying, “Egbert what the fuck?” I reached over to turn off the stream, but Dave caught my wrist.  
“You're streaming?” He asks baffled.  
“D-Dave I-I can explain.” I stutter out.  
“Oh yeah you do, to me AND everyone watching. And bro, go change, it's weird seeing another me that's not in a mirror.” Dave calmly states. I'm frozen for a moment before what he said finally clicks and I'm running off to the bathroom. After changing, I go back to where I'm streaming to see Dave talking to the followers.  
“He's a dork and I'll forgive him for this, he's my best friend after all, but I want to know what led him to do this.” Dave is saying. I clear my throat and Dave looks up at me.  
“John, why don't you come join me and our followers?” He suggests while patting the spot next to him. I slowly make my way to the spot he patted and sit there.  
“Now tell us John, why did you do all of this?” Dave inquiries.  
“Well, remember how a few months ago we asks the question, what if you had a Tumblr blog? Well I took the if a bit too far…” I explain while looking down at the floor, feeling a little bit of shame. Dave chuckles, and I look up at him in shock.  
“You forgot the most important part.” He says.  
“What do you-” He cuts me off by kissing me. I'm surprised at first, but then I melt into the kiss. I'm disappointed when he pulls back.  
“You have no idea how long I've wanted to do that, and now our followers have all that hot yaoi action on our blog now.” Dave says. I'm a bit dazed but I realize what he's saying.  
“Wait does this mean we're dating now?” I ask.  
“Yep, mother fucking entrenched in this relationship now.” Dave states. “But you should give me the password to the blog so I can make posts, and so that you can actually be yourself on it.”  
I nod, happy to have my best friend, now boyfriend sharing a blog with me.


End file.
